Peter Pan and his friends fly into outer space to visit a pirate infested fantasy land...

Even as a child, it just never appealed to me, mainly because Peter Pan seemed too… girly.

I liked Hook as a child and I pretended not to cry in Finding Neverland, but other than these two instances, I have never really enjoyed Peter Pan, or any Peter Pan related media.

And I specifically remember not enjoying this movie as a child. After re-watching it, it is very clear to me why.

Not only it is almost entirely boring and dull, it also has way too many instances of sexism and racism, which, upon contemporary viewing, are strange and unsettling.

To begin with, the film opens with George Darling telling his daughter Wendy (Beaumont) that she has to move out of the nursery and grow up. Even though this isn’t particularly shocking, this is the first of many deep themes that will eventually rear their ugly head in Peter Pan, and within seconds we realise that the pet dog Nana is a maid servant who is enslaved by the family and that George Darling is probably an alcoholic.

The dog is a slave and the father is a drunk... This film just got real...

Disney Studios wants us to ignore these disturbing facts that they present to us, and also to swallow that an English family living in Victorian London all have American accents. Well, it isn’t the first and most definitely won’t be the last time Disney gives everyone odd accents, and it certainly isn’t the most culturally insensitive moment that Peter Pan has to offer.

Just wait for the ‘redskins’.

If you woke up in the night and saw this standing at your window, wouldn't you be terrified??

After the children leave the window unlocked so that their ‘special friend’ can enter their bedroom, Tinker Bell (Kerry) comes in and touches herself up whilst looking in the mirror as Peter Pan (Driscoll) clambers in and then wrestles with his own shadow.

*SEXISM ALERT*

The next incredibly disturbing moment in a film made for children is when Peter tells Wendy that ‘girls talk too much’ and then makes her sew for him. So right off the bat, Peter is set up as a misogynist.

Yes Wendy, remember your place...

There’s a reason why I never liked this movie as a child.

Wendy and her brothers John and Michael then fly out of the window with Peter and Tinker Bell during a musical number, and then arrive in a cosmos somewhere in outer space that is, of course, Neverland.

Welcome to Neverland: a place where everyone tires to kill you (if you're Wendy)

*RACISM ALERT*

The Pirates are, of course all European villains, and there’s a place called Cannibal Cove where the ‘redskins’ live. Captain Hook (Conreid) shoots a singing pirate for no reason, as his assistant Smee shaves a bird’s bottom.

Yes Smee, there's still more offensive things left to come in this movie...

It’s all incredibly strange.

After the children are almost killed by Captain Hook, who shoots a canon at them, Tinker Bell then tries to murder Wendy, which is also very messed up. They are joined by The Lost Boys who are all ridiculous and annoying, and sing the song ‘We’re Following the Leader’, which is probably the only good bit in the movie so far.

They don't look much like the other Lost Boys in that 80s movie...

*RACISM ALERT*

Michael, who is actually a fairly cute character, then sees the Blackfoot tribe of savage ‘Injuns’, who attack the children. This moment is only funny because it is so insanely racist. Now I’m no member of the Politically Correct Thought Police, but it is very difficult, in this day and age, to watch a monstrous caricature of an ‘Injun Chief’ rounding up white English American children.

Injun Chief- what can I say??

*SEXISM ALERT*

The 'sexy; mermaids love Peter and a hate Wendy.

We then see a group of sexy mermaids lounging around- all of whom absolutely adore Peter, so they try to drown Wendy. Not only is this really horrible, it is only made worse by the fact that Peter laughs at this, and doesn’t actually try to help her.

Peter really is a dick. 

How evil does Peter look? Why is he enjoying seeing the mermaids try to murder Wendy...?

*RACISM ALERT*

A crocodile ticks (for no reason) and Hook steals the Injun Chief’s daughter Tiger Lily. Peter clearly cares more about her than Wendy, as he has a sword fight with Hook in a cave to rescue the damsel in distress.

This picture is just unfortunate...

Once she is saved, Peter returns her to her father, and Peter is admired as their ‘pale face brother’ and is given the title ‘Little Flying Eagle’.

*SEXISM AND RACISM ALERT*

The ‘redskins’, who actually have red skin, then sing a song as a hugely obese woman calls Wendy a squaw  and tells her that she isn’t allowed to dance as she must instead collect firewood. So she goes off into the woods whilst Peter dances with Tiger Lily.

Peter has lots of girls fawning over him, including Tiger Lily.

Poor Wendy. She’s already learning the hard way that some men just can’t be trusted.

*RACISM ALERT*

By the way, the song is actually about why the ‘redman’ is red. Clearly based on scientific fact, we discover that it is because when ‘redskins’ blush when they kiss, and that, for some reason, makes them permanently red.

So redskins are red because they constantly blush.. Oh dear.

Wow.

*SEXISM ALERT*

Tinker Bell, in all her stupidity, is then caught by Captain Hook and is tricked into giving Peter’s whereabouts to him. Well, what do you expect from a silly woman?

Oh Tinker Bell. You're just a silly woman!

Wendy then tells us all that every little boy needs a mother, as mothers are the most wonderful people in the world. She then sings a stomach churning cheesy song about her own mother.

Then the children are kidnapped, with the intention of recruiting them to become pirates. This is explained in a jaunty song.

Captain Hook hates peter, for good reason, but is too incompetent to finish him off...

After Captain Hook unfortunately fails to blow up Peter, as he and Tinker Bell miraculously survive the explosion, Peter saves the day, and Hook ends up being chased by the crocodile.

Tinker Bell then turns the pirate ship gold, and sails it back to London, which is probably the best moment in the movie. I actually liked this part, which I can’t say for the rest of this bizarre mess.

It would be pretty cool to stand on the clock face of The Elizabeth Tower...

Back home, Wendy decides that it’s time to grow up, probably because she has been traumatised from gaining a deep seated psychologically destructive complex about never being able to trust men since her boyfriend clearly hates her, her father’s a drunk and the rest of the men in the movie kept trying to kill her.

Wendy’s parents then come into the bedroom and look out of the window to see the pirate ship in the clouds.

The End.

There’s really not much more for me to say about this ‘Disney Classic’. Hook and Peter aren’t really the great characters they purport to being, and the story is a patchy mess of random plots with loads of stupid comic relief thrown in that really isn’t funny. Also, the fact that the film is mainly about Hook and Smee, John, Michael and The Lost Boys, makes little sense, as Wendy and Peter really should be the focus of the story, but aren’t.

Peter leads them on, then throws them to the side...

It’s no great surprise to discover that Peter Pan suffered terrible development problems, mainly because it was another one of the Disney films put on hold due to World War 2, but also because there were numerous problems with its adaptation from the original play and novel.

Upon its release, Peter Pan was a huge success both critically and commercially, and is still regarded as one of the ‘best’ Disney animations.

I really don’t know why.

But as I said at the beginning of this review, Peter Pan just never touched me as a child (luckily) so I have no real emotional connection to it. It’s one of those childhood movies that you either ‘get’ or you don’t.

And I don’t.